Introduction

The Encyclopedia of Spurious Etymologies

For several years now, one of my many crackpot ideas was to create a book under the above name. Each of the many entries would be concocted as follows: first, I would choose something common and banal (and preferably with a name to match, such as the ‘Jersey Barrier’ below.) Second, I would provide the definition, genesis, and uses of that thing in all its crushingly truthful banality (definition 1a.) And finally, I would make up out of whole cloth a brand new etymology for it – one interesting, exotic – and funny. This last I would list right after the actual one (definition 1s.)

Unfortunately (or is it fortunately?), I have only been able to come up with one pairing. And so my idea for such an enterprise languished for lack of sufficient number of entries. (Any encyclopedia worth its salt needs more than one entry – doesn’t it?) (NB: Since that was written, I have managed to concoct additional entries.)

Until now, that is. I have recently realized that, thanks to the internet, this encyclopedia could become a community project. And thus I am issuing this:

CALL FOR ACTUAL AND SPURIOUS ETYMOLOGIES.

You can register and begin writing your own entries here: http://www.blogger.com/home

You should sign your entries – unless (and I can understand this) you are ashamed to be associated with such an enterprise (in which case you may simply call yourself ‘Chicken Little.’) And please give credit to any sources you use on the internet.

P.S. My father had a rather simplistic sense of humor. Once when we were driving through Binghamton, NY, he asked whether we knew how that city got its name. "Well you see, there was a guy named Bing, and he had a ton of ham..." I am hoping that the entries offered for this (potentially venerable) Encyclopedia show evidence of more sophistication!

- Theo May